Screaming children

I'm sure we've all been in a place where someone's children are acting inconveniently. We go into a restaurant and a child is talking loudly or throwing food, a grocery store with a child screaming because his mom won't buy a toy. I will admit, I really haven't had this issue with my children being less than pleasant in public since my oldest was quite young. My sons have never been loud and obnoxious in restaurants, and my daughter learned to control herself in public by the time she was 7 or 8.

Of course, when my kids got to the point where it looked like they may get unruly, we'd exit before they were in full flame mode. I really don't think it was that my kids never acted out. It's that we caught the signs that preceded the less than desired outcome and we preempted. I've left restaurants with a pre-tantrum child. Why? It wasn't really to make it easier on the other adults in the restaurant. It had a lot more to do with the fact that otherwise well behaved children don't suddenly turn monstrous without a reason. This is what I didn't know with my daughter, and probably why she had public outbursts. With her, I was very young and still under the impression that children are of lower class than parents and they should just behave. Period. There are still a lot of adults who have this belief, especially about other people's children (while making excuses for their own), but I've come to understand that my children aren't extensions of me.

They are individual human beings with feelings completely separate from mine. What a concept, huh? Just because I can stand a two hour trip to the grocery store without feeling like I'm going to scream, why do I assume a young child can do the same? If a two year old is bored because she's being made to endure an event that far surpasses her attention span, why do I think that child will act as if she's fully engaged? What do I do when I'm bored? I sigh loudly. I might ball up paper and throw it at someone. I make snide comments and odd noises. I fidget. Why do I think a child should have a different reaction to boredom than I do?

When I'm tired and grumpy, everyone knows it. We somehow don't allow children to express their negative emotions, because it signifies "bad behavior". If I'm grouchy, I might slam things around or yell. I get it out of my system. I would expect that all other people do the same sorts of things to keep their brain from eating itself. I would expect children to do the same, considering they are people and all.